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THINGS I WILL DO ON THIS ACCOUNT:
-MAKE EXCELLENT POSTS
-BE ENDLESSLY CHARMING AND FUNNY
-FURTHER MY MAGICAL RESEARCH OUT OF BOTH GENUINE CURIOSITY AND ALSO SPITE DIRECTED AT THE MEMBERS OF ACADEMIA WHO HAVE WRONGED ME

THINGS I WILL NOT DO ON THIS ACCOUNT:
-I WILL NOT HEX YOUR NEIGHBOR'S DOG. JUST TALK OUT YOUR PROBLEMS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. OR I CAN JUST HEX YOUR NEIGHBOR INSTEAD WHY BRING THE DOG INTO IT

I'M LEAVING OUT ALL SORTS OF NEFARIOUS HEXES ALL OVER THE PLACE. JUST IN CASE!

STAND STILL AND LET ME CAST THIS SPELL AT YOU YOU'LL BE FINE, YOU'LL JUST END UP VERY FAR AWAY FROM ME

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"Haha blaze it~" I say as the brimstone rains down on another town of innocents, i am so baked

wizards will see a witch live to see old age without having to become a lich and say "witches aren't even powerful enough to blow themselves up before the age of 50"

FUNCTIONALLY, THERE IS VERY LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DR. STRANGE AND NARUTO IN THEIR SPELLCASTING

HEY HEY HEY BEING A WIZARD DOESN'T INHERENTLY MAKE ME A DANGER TO MYSELF AND OTHERS. THAT'S BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE ARSON

you: I am a wizard,

me as a fantasy therapist: [discreetly writing on my clipboard] danger... to... self... and... others

you can be a wizard if you're a girl or a witch if you're a boy. or any other gender. don't let people tell you they're gendered terms. you're a WIZARD if you know what you're doing and you're a WITCH if you throw shit in a pot because a rhyme told you to

ALSO I CAST SPELLS. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE SURE YOUR HOUSE HASN'T BEEN RECENTLY FIREBALLED

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YEAH I'M A WIZARD. NOT BECAUSE I CAST SPELLS. BUT BECAUSE I'M GAY

I WHO LAY IN THE FULL LENGTH OF THE BED
CALL UPON THEE WHO OPENETH THE BLANKETS OF WARMTH
COME FORTH, BLESSED SLUMBER
REST BEGINS NOW!
SLEEPY NATION!

"KARA ARE YOU SAYING THAT LESBIANISM IS A FORM OF MAGIC?" YES?? I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN WOMEN? GOD DAMN

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I TRY NOT TO TAP INTO MY LESBIAN ENERGIES WHEN CASTING SPELLS BECAUSE IT TENDS TO MAKE THE SPELL UNSTABLE YET DANGEROUSLY ATTRACTIVE

OH THANK GOD I WAS TRAPPED IN THE DIMENSION WHERE CASTING SPELLS REQUIRED UNIMAGINABLE SUFFERING AS A SACRIFICE. ANYWAYS I'M GOING TO NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT PLANAR TRAVEL MIGHT HAVE DONE OVER THERE AND INSTEAD FOCUS ON HOW I CAN MAGICALLY HEAT MY INSTANT NOODLES WITHOUT AN ENTIRE VILLAGE GOING MYSTERIOUSLY MISSING

PERSONALLY, I DON'T LIKE TO HIDE BEHIND THE INHERENT WHIMSY OF WIZARDRY. I MAKE NO ILLUSIONS HERE: EVEN MY SILLIEST OF MAGICS ARE VERY FATAL AND AN ABOMINATION IN THE EYES OF SEVERAL GODS

WIZARDS ARE LIKE "TEEHEE TIME TO CAST SOME WHIMSICAL MAGICS" [COMMITS AN ATROCITY]

I PICK UP MY WIZARD STAFF AND CAST A SILLY LITTLE SPELL

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY TRIPPED AND FELL ONTO A PILE OF TOMES, CAUSING SOME UNPREDICTABLE MAGICS. FIRST ONE: I AM NOW COVERED IN SPAGHETTI. SECOND ONE: ALL LIFE WITHIN A THIRTY MILE RADIUS HAS BEEN VAPORIZED

MY NAME IS KARA. I'M A FORMER STUDENT AT THE WIZARD ACADEMY BEFORE I WAS DISGRACEFULLY EXILED DUE TO THE MACHINATIONS OF THE DEVIOUS MAGE PROFESSOR SMORKENSDORF. NOW I LOB FIREBALLS AT UNSUSPECTING TRESPASSERS FROM THE WINDOWS OF MY WIZZZARD'S TOWER. THIS IS AN UPGRADE

HELLO TO NEW MASTODON USERS. I HOPE YOU CAN DODGE LIGHTNING BOLTS

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