Show newer

AH FUCK I HAVE NOW BEEN OFFERED A LUCRATIVE LIGHT NOVEL PUBLISHING CONTRACT WITH MANGA AND ANIME ADAPTATIONS

Show thread

IT WOULD REALLY SUCK IF I (A DISTINGUISHED MAGE) REINCARNATED 500+ YEARS INTO THE FUTURE ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT THE MOST BASIC OF MAGICAL TECHNIQUES WERE CONSIDERED LOST ARTS

TOME TOUCHERS. GRIMOIRE GRABBERS. CODEX CARESSERS (NOT SEXUAL)

@kara IT'S BECAUSE US WIZARDS ARE MAGICAL ENOUGH THAT WE CAN GET DOUBLE HIGH, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE EXCEPT WITH A LOT MORE FIRE TYPICALLY

FOOLS AND SIMPLETONS LOOK AT THE MAGICAL ARTS AND GO BRUHHHH HOW HIGH MUST THEY HAVE BEEN TO MAKE THIS. THE ANSWER TO THAT IS EXTREMELY BECAUSE THEY'RE FUCKING WIZARDS, YOU DUNCE

Show thread

PEOPLE COME TO MY TOWER EVERY 4/20 AND GO. WIZARD KARA. PLEASE SHOW US YOUR DANKEST WEED MAGIC. PLEASE GIVE US THE BOUNTY OF WEED MAGICS THAT YOUR STUDIES HAVE UNEARTHED. TO WHICH I SAY: YOU FOOLS. JUST BECAUSE I AM A WIZARD DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM USING WEED MAGIC. I'M STRAIGHT EDGE FOR LIFE (FOR WIZARDS THIS MEANS THAT I AM HIGH CONSTANTLY)

i'm trying to figure out how to get past this fucking weird ass tower that lights up and kills me (please dont tell me how)

Show thread

@kara ok so orb might have been a bit misleading *pulls this out of my pocket* here have a look *it bursts into smoke, making a GIANT fart sound, and I vanish*

I get ONE DAY a year and the freaking wizzzards just INSIST on hunting me on that day...

I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING AS CRASS AS "MAKE AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE." I HAVE NEVER MADE ANY JOKES ON THIS ACCOUNT. THEREFORE I WILL ALSO BE THROWING MY WIZARD HAT INTO THE RING AND PARTICIPATING IN THE ANNUAL WIZZZARD DOT ONLINE JESTER HUNT

IF I WAS CASTING A SPELL TO DISPLAY IMAGES FROM MY SPELLBOOK I WOULD SIMPLY NOT HAVE NAZI IMAGERY IN THERE. THIS IS EASY TO ME

ALYS, LIGHTNING IS COMING YOUR WAY AS WELL. THAT POST WAS A HONEYPOT AND UNFORTUNATELY THE TRACKING SPELL I EMBEDDED IN IT JUST ACTIVATED

Show thread

OKAY SO I DIDN'T NECESSARILY NEED TO LEVITATE AND GENERATE A BUNCH OF SPELL CIRCLES TO CAST "SPELL OF OPENING A HARD-TO-OPEN JAR" YOU YOU'VE GOTTA ADMIT IT LOOKED PRETTY SICK RIGHT

"BUT KARA IF YOU KEEP SHOOTING SPELLS AT YOUR COLLEAGUES' TOWERS THAT'S A HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT" YEAH AND IT'S ALSO A HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT IF THEY'RE NOT CAPABLE OF SPELL PARRYING THAT SHIT. GET IT TOGETHER

Show thread

I BOOST A BUNCH OF POSTS AND YET THE ONE STARWALL PICKS IS THE HELP ME STEP-MAGE ONE. GONNA LOB SOME WEIRD SPELLS AT THE STARWALL TOWER TONIGHT

(NOTE: I WILL BE LOBBING THE NORMAL PACKAGE OF SPELLS I LOB AT ANY OF THE WIZZZARD TOWERS)

[FUCKS UP A SPELLCAST AND GETS ABSOLUTELY DRENCHED] KYAAAA HELP ME STEP-MAGE I'M STUCK

personally, i unfaithfully recreate the great cataclysm. every time i recreate the great cataclysm it's so shitty all the other mages laugh at me

I CAN'T MAKE ANY FUNNY JOKES ABOUT WATER MAGIC ANYMORE BECAUSE I HAVE THOROUGHLY PISSED IN THAT PARTICULAR WELL

Show older
Wizzzard Tower

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!