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Selfie, ec, ft. Farm Dirt On Forehead 

Heyo heyo ya boy is covered in dirt and grime and dust and feeling pretty good today.

Gonna go shower immediately tho lmao

@hoppet @swiff this is why we need to make sure he gets tetanus, to compensate

@swiff i could imagine something like this being rad for dnd by visualizing a monk's ki in a slick, glove-like fashion as well aaaaaa

If I ever hear his lips utter the phrase "bodily autonomy" for any reason I'm going to lay down in the middle of the farm and immediately decompose to feed the soil

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@swiff worst part is like... he probably avoided having polio because of vaccines

Actual quote from an unhinged boomer 

"You know, honestly, the odds are good- you step on a rusty nail, get it washed real well, keep it bandaged keep it clean, the odds of an infection are so low-- honestly I'd like to see some statistics on how many people die of tetanus in the united States really"

This dude didn't just miss the point by a little, the point is in the next county compared to this old man

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Me, a consummate professional @ garden volunteers: "thank you for coming! We're always happy to have you here and helping out :)"

Me, internally: "You better stay at least 6 feet back during this goodbye you antivax old farts, or I'll scream, and pull your mask up past your nose shitdips"

@swiff YO DUDE, IMAGINE SOMEONE WALKING OUT AND THEY DO THE GLOVE TIGHTENING MOTION AND SOME SICK SPECTRAL GLOVE WITH ARCANE ETCHINGS AND SHIT JUST FASTENS ON OUT OF THE AETHER, FUCK, THAT'D BE SICK I'M DOING THAT FOR A CHARACTER ONE DAY

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CW: HUGE 😳 RAW 🀀 UNCUT πŸ’¦ GLISTENING ✨ CUKES 

πŸ₯’

this was meant to be a sendup of the dril post but i accidentally just wrote something that'd be unironically horny for lots of folks

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"im owned! im owned!!", i continue to agree as i rapidly grow and transform into a kaiju

@swiff The third one especially just feels like inset art for an album

He's the drummer

@swiff I know it's kabuki makeup but it's giving me SERIOUS black metal corpse paint vibes

decking my nioh character out like a kabuki performer was absolutely the right decision, this shit legitimately rules

@swiff I think both of these are related in that they are this websites fault

He’s not the only one im subtooting here but @cuttlefish is one of them when hes not posting about mucous

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